HOOOOLY, it’s been about a year since I’ve ranted on this thaang, so its about time I bring it back…
Hi, I’m Reid. And I’ve lived in the wonderful land of Vancouver, BC for just over a year now. Well TECHNICALLY, I live in Burnaby, but whatevs…
*gets ready for a deep, emotional post, and right after will return to being an idiot*
Moving out by myself has been nothing short of an eye opener. I have discovered new things about life, about myself, about myself as an artist, about other people, etc.
Moving has been the most terrifying, rewarding, revolutionary, life-changing thing that I have done to this day… and I know i’m nothing special saying those things, as probably everyone will have said the same thing who has also moved, but for myself, and how I was before, looking at who I have become, how I approach things, how I interact, how I handle myself, Vancouver (especially these past months) has changed me.
Now to start off, I can say honestly and without any self-hatred and deprecation, during my childhood and formative years from around 16 (?) until now, I was nothing even remotely close to a saint. I was a low-key (and at times a high-key) savage to people that, in reality, deserved more respect than I could ever give them. I was an insecure, shy individual who relied on my manufactured communication skills to hide the fact I was ”that” person. I was a person who was AFRAID TO BE HIMSELF, because I cared too much about the recognition of others to appreciate what I can actually do and how I actually thought.
When I look back at myself, I was not a good person, and I believe, through random outbursts of lack of motivation, of situations of jealousy, of just plain ego standing in my own way, I had the opportunity and time to sit down and critically analyze myself.
I thought I was special because I tried to be the best version of myself that EVERYONE could like, and didn’t like it when that wasn’t happening.
I didn’t understand that EVERYONE is special. Everyone has their own quirks and their own skills.
Everyone has gone through their own stories, and through their own personal gauntlets.
Everyone is no one but themselves.
So I gave up trying to make everyone like me, because what good is that if someone likes you for who you aren’t, and I started learning to try and make me like myself.
But who am I?
I am an individual. I am someone who can dance how I dance, speak how I speak, type how I type, laugh how I laugh. I am someone who can open up their emotions and connect the innermost feelings that I have repressed and connect it to what I am doing. I am someone who can now look at himself without a clouded vision. I am an artist. I am someone who will over plan an eight count of choreography so it’s more than just movement, it is intention, so one move can tell an entire story to me, despite it being just an arm throw. I am someone who, with great diligence, despite it being hard to do sometimes, push past personal boundaries and walls I have set up for myself in order for myself to grow. I am someone who believes in his own opinions and will stand by them, no matter what anyone else says or tries to convince me otherwise. I am someone who thinks differently than the person next to me. I am someone who acts differently than the person next to me.
I am someone who is different.
I am special, and no one can tell me otherwise.
I am myself, and always will be.
and this is without a doubt the most millennial generation style post of life.
Now, go follow me on Instagram and YouTube. thaaaaaaaanks mannnnnnn…